Tied up in Tech

Hold on, I'm looking it up.
Photo: Flickr.com

I listened with interest to a story featured on the Today show (1/26) claiming that more 9 year olds can use smart phone apps than can tie their own shoes.*  Now, aside from a nod to the advent of Velcro this begs a look at the changes in the way children grow and view their world.

Who needs laces anyway?
Photo: thisnext.com

Most of the commentary I found on technology and kids takes a “tsk-tsk” tone, followed by panic driven, pessimistic reports of a future generation of detached, lazy, morally bent, impatient people.  But I would like to explore the idea that technology can be a positive force in our children’s social, emotional and educational development, depending (as usual) on you.

Remember when we sledded down the middle of our street, played with sticks, and stayed out all day in the neighborhood? Our parents cautioned us to be careful, not to poke someone’s eye out and not to speak to strangers. When our kids are navigating the cyber world they still need to know that they can be hurt, hurt others and invite unwanted attention from strangers. 

Creepy people are not a modern invention.
Photo: dontletthemhurtourchildren.blogspot.com

 Maybe just as dangerous to our society as a whole is the fact that our kids will shape much of their social and political worldview on-line. It reminds me of the cave allegory in Plato’s Republic. In the allegory, people are forced to face a blank wall in a cave.  Their entire reality is formed by watching the shadows that are being cast on the wall by people behind them passing in front of a fire. It’s not until they are freed to see the world from other perspectives that they understand how limited their view has been.  I see computers and other forms of technology as the cave where our children sit and view reality.  You, the parent, get to be the person that frees them, and reveals to them that “Grand Theft Auto” is not a documentary, and that there are other perspectives, moral codes, realities and opportunities that exist outside of their technological walls. 

Things aren't always what they seem.
Artwork: Spacecollective.org

In schools, the National Association for the Education of Young Children and the Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education remind us not to let our children use technology in an adult-free vacuum.  They see an enormous potential for technology in a child’s education as long as it is integrated into the child’s daily learning, with well-trained teachers and alert parents.

It is not productive to try to stop change, or our kid’s place in a changing world.  The scariest part is the lag time for parents and educators to figure out that they too need to change. Think about all of the technologies that rose up in your lifetime.  The desktop computer stands out, but what about blow dryers, insulated lunch boxes, microwave popcorn, dvds and hundreds of other innovations, large and small that have become a part of our daily lives?  It was our generation’s responsibility to learn how to live and interact with these technologies, products and other people in a new environment.  Now it is our children’s turn to explore, experiment, judge, and ultimately to determine what their world will look like.

What will they think of next?
Photo:cheapmarts.net

 

 Here’s what you can do to help them:

Teachers

Undergo training and fight to integrate technology into classroom curriculum.  MySpace in the computer lab doesn’t count.

Promote cooperative efforts and personal interaction around technology projects.  Design curriculum that forces kids to discuss their tech strategies face to face. 

Parents

Facilitate personal interaction with other actual live children who are in the same room as each other.

Monitor tech activity for inappropriate content. You get to decide what inappropriate means, but I will give you a clue.  It usually occurs online in your kid’s room after you are sleeping.  

Continue learning new technologies as they become available so you can figure out what you don’t know.

Kids

Go out and play, wouldja?

Photo: unplggd.com

Kids can’t tie their shoes but they can use technology with a comfort that ensures a very different world in our future.  As parents we can help ensure that it is a world where people are connected by technological innovation, but also by human interaction.  And probably lots of Velcro.  As for their shoelaces, don’t worry.  There’s an app for that!

Photo: macworld.com

*As far as I can track down the story is from a report by Megan Gibson on Time.com about an AVG study.   

Dressing Miss Daisy

If you are a man, you may stop reading this, unless you are a clothing designer.  If you are a size 10 or below, don’t bother with this week’s blog.  Finally, if you have not yet reached a “certain age,” this may be a waste of your time.  (If you don’t know what a “certain age” is, then you haven’t reached it.)  The rest of you, share my pain.

Shopping, my one-time favorite sport, has recently begun to trigger feelings in me that were previously reserved for trips to the dentist.  As I tiptoe into my 50s, it has become hard to find “appropriate” clothing. And by appropriate I mean clothing that is neither a tropical print mumu, nor requires a belly ring as a finishing accessory. Clothing that has not been designed for our mothers or our daughters.  

Don't let it happen to you.
Photo: Mumumuesli.com

 Isn’t anyone designing for the nearly 55 million female baby boomers aged 50-64? You know, the average American women who, according to the Los Angeles Times, weigh in at about 162 pounds, and are looking for nice clothing in sizes 10-14? These women are scouring stores for clothing, and managed to spend over $19.6 billion last year--with little help from retailers.

Size 14.
Photo: Amuseum.org

Lady boomers are getting mixed messages.  The media fixates on their outward appearance, but they are often shut out of better clothing because of their age or size.  They are urged to think thin, but Professor Rob Brooks at UNSW found that most men preferred the shape of average women over the emaciated models used to sell clothing.  You would never suspect this preference leafing through magazines, watching runway shows or even visiting your local malls.  Men, where were you when Miuccia Prada vowed that she would never design clothing larger than a size 10? Why didn't you step forward and tell Prada that you like it when your “baby got some back.”  (Of course, “size 10” has less meaning today; according to Sean Poulter at the Daily Mail many chains have increased waist sizes up to 1.6 inches in order to make women feel better about themselves. But more on that another day.) To Prada who specializes in insulting average women, and the stores that specialize in “larger” clothing here is a message:  Being larger than a size 10 is not an illness nor does it result in cravings for polyester and elastic.

Nuff said.
Photo: Ancianosolucion.es

It seems that in their frustration women of a certain age have migrated to the internet.  Market research firm NPD concludes that 65% of online apparel sales go to women over age 35, with the bulk of sales to women 55 to 64 years old.  The offerings in retail stores are so slim that they must settle for clothing that they cannot touch or try on before purchasing.  That probably won’t help solve the problem.

While we wait for twenty-something merchandisers to make sophisticated, attractive and appropriate clothing for fifty-something women in sizes 10 and above more available, here is a set of guidelines collected from aging shoppers for aging shoppers:

Probably not this...
Photo: Thegloss.com

If you wore it the first time it was in style, you are not allowed to wear it the second time.  Retro is a no-no. Stop drooling over the platform pumps and flaunting your butt crack.  You had your chance in the 60s.

Do not wear anything that gathers under the bust.  While this style flatters girlish figures, it makes you look like one of those grannies that seek out unethical fertility doctors.

No puffed sleeves.  Puffed sleeves are only permitted for adolescents, tweenagers and Swedish milkmaids.

Do not tuck your jeans into your boots unless you are in the army, on safari or mucking out a stall.

Be conservative when it comes to glitter.  It can sometimes add a shiny glow to parts best left in the dark.

If your friend tells you it’s “cute” leave it on the rack.

Avoid synthetics. Polyester and hot flashes do not mix well. 

But not this either...
Photo:  Sodahead.com

In the end, appropriate is what feels comfortable and right.  Wrap the wisdom, beauty, clarity and confidence that you’ve gained in clothes that highlight who you have become.

Too comfy?
Photo: Kaboodle.com

Tipping Over

Wanted: 

Hard worker who is willing to take abuse from public and coworkers, move fast, multi-task, lift heavy objects, accept weekend and evening hours.  No benefits, and little or no opportunity for advancement. 

Really, would you be smiling?
Photo: Sodahead.com

Before you rush out the door to apply for this job, you should know that your hourly pay will not be enough to buy you a latte.

In America it’s perfectly legal to pay our 7.5 million food and beverage workers as little as $2.13 per hour, since tips are expected to bolster their income. Their actual average wage in the U.S. is $4.35 per hour, about half of minimum wage. The only difference between $2.13 and a living wage for some servers might your tips.  

She'll probably have to pay for that drink too.
Photo: Phoenixnewtimes.com

According to Keep the Change by Steve Dublanica, we spend $66 billion on tips annually, and table service is just the beginning. We are topping off the tab for everyone from sitters to clippers, from car washers to coat checkers from valets to tattoo artists. A quick Google search demonstrates that thousands of blogs, books and articles have been penned exploring tipping in various scenarios, seasons, times, cultures, and that there are a myriad of other mind-boggling nuances relating to the practice.  The resulting comments also reveal how adverse many Americans are to tipping, and how they feel taken advantage of in situations when they have been served poorly, especially in restaurants. Tips have become an expectation and an obligation, even for mediocre or meager service. But to all the people who stiff their server for being surly, I ask how $2.13 per hour might affect your mood or performance? 

Photo: Funnypictures.net

While tipping is traditionally related to service the newest revolution in tipping, and one that has happened in my adult lifetime, is the advent of the tip jar.  These elaborately drawn and prominently placed vessels are generally found on the last frontier of tipping:  counter tops at self-serve establishments. Though the word self-service begs an oxymoron, these jars have become the norm. The rules of tipping are less defined for countertops; I find that I am likely to tip more or less depending on the tip jar sign.  Here are some of the tip-inducing tactics I have seen around town:

From the look of this jar, kittens are in trouble.
Photo: Hotdogprofits.com

Tactic: Cajoling

Feeling tipsy?

-or-

Tips are appreciated.

These pleas are the simplest, most common approaches on tip jars. I tend to leave money in these containers, because I read this subtitle: “The reason I need tips is because I have no imagination and cannot get a better job.”

Tactic: Threatening

The more you tip the nicer we are.

Ok.  How insecure do you have to be to bend over for that one? Be strong, you don’t need another friend.

Tactic: Promising salvation

All good tippers go to heaven.

I can’t help but wonder if this means that bad tippers go to hell?  And what of those few brave (or foolish) souls who deign not to tip at all?  Did Dante describe a level of hell with tortures reserved for tightwads?

Tactic: Social commentary

We are trying to raise $700 billion for rich people.

I usually tip big when I see this sign, because I feel sorry for rich people and small tips probably won’t help them much. (Do Republicans think of tipping as socialism?  Are they permitted to skip tipping because of their abhorrence to sharing the wealth?)

New RNC fundraising effort?
Photo: superpunch.blogspot.com

Tactic: Comedy

We knead the dough

A bakery and pizzeria favorite--I acknowledge the point and forgive the pun.

Barista kidnapped by Ninja clan.  Raising money for Kung Fu lessons.

 I would do anything to help get my favorite Barista back.

Tipping.  Not just for Cows.

I feed this tip jar because I suspect that the writer is a fellow Midwesterner. Of course I could point out that tipped cows don’t do anything extraordinary either, except perhaps show the same propensity as counter help for sometimes standing around looking vacant.

Some things money can't buy.
Photo: Moneybagsfull.com

Then there's the direct approach...
Photo: Buzzfeed.com

Creative or not, I hope you feed the jars and tip the servers.  Especially if you are one of the lucky people protected by law to receive minimum pay wage for your hard work.  Really, shouldn't $2.13 per hour at least buy a little tolerance?

Face Off

If you have ever called a dismal house “a fixer upper,” if you have described a potential blind date as being “mature” when you meant “old” or if you have commented on a baby being “a little doll” when you meant “looks like Chucky” you are ready to use social networking.

Oh, Is it a boy or girl?
Photo: famousmonstersoffilmland.com

 I know this may shock you, but you deserve to know. People are not always completely honest on social networking sites. This sometimes leads those of us who are doing the reading to believe that everyone’s life is charmed, except maybe our own.

OK, maybe some people do have more fun...
Photo:ratestogo.com

 That’s what Stanford researchers Monin, Dweck, Gross and Jordan say in their December 22nd article in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.  They outlined what they think we don’t already know: That social media is a way for us to create a public persona that may or may not be accurate. The researchers studied 460 students at Stanford (not a population known for self-effacement) and found that Facebook was creating negative self-images in students who compared their actual lives to posts describing the lives of others.  If these elite students are saddled with  self-pity from viewing Facebook pages I shudder to think of how the rest of us might react.

Stanford student after Facebooking?
Photo: theonion.com

Other studies give us some insight into these optimistic self-portrayals on social media sites.  Soraya Mehdizadeh of York University found that it is narcissists and people with low self-esteem who use Facebook the most.  Evidently, the narcissists think that their own inflated self-image is true.  The people with low self-esteem are using Facebook to frame their fantasies.  Both groups (and everyone in-between) use Facebook and other sites as a tool for self-promotion. With social media we have the opportunity to market ourselves, our best selves, to others every time we post. That’s what makes even Stanford students feel inferior to us.  Why then do we post such idiotic things instead? That brings us to the dark side of social media.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them” but one of the curses of Facebook is that stupidity endures, is reposted, is read by friends of friends, is viewed by your boss, your landlord, your spouse and strangers.

It’s easy to find stories about stupidity on Facebook .  In fact there are Facebook pages devoted to it!  There you can read about the consequences of public stupidity, including  broken marriages, school suspensions, and lost jobs. These people forgot that Facebook is a social network, not a rant room.  But spouses, principals and potential bosses haven’t forgotten. They see some of that nasty stuff.

Some things should remain unseen.
Photo: ifimbored.com

 According to Facebook’s own information there are more than 500 million active users on their site, and half of them view their pages on any given day.  In fact, they are the most visited web site of 2010, surpassing even Google! But forget these big, abstract numbers.  Facebook’s average user has 130 friends.  If these 130 people were gathered in an auditorium, would you get up on stage and announce that you hate your job, present a slide show featuring your underage drinking and nude photos and discuss your addiction to prescription pain meds?  (Unless you’re from Hollywood in which case your publicist has posted all of this for you.) 

 Facebook tells us that the average user creates 90 pieces of content each month. Your friends are reading about your life (or fantasy life,) as are their friends and other harmless, but interested strangers.   But also scanning the content are criminals, pedophiles, and con artists mining data and looking for opportunities.  Even worse than criminals, Facebook now allows advertisers to target you through your interests and information.  The Federal Trade Commission urges us to respect these safety and privacy guidelines:

1.     Make sure you’re on the right site.  OUTeverywhere is not a travel site, and WeeWorld is not a meeting place for urologists.

2.     Don’t post anything you wouldn’t want the world to know. This means post only what you do want the world to know.

3.     Restrict access to your pages. This should include all photos taken during spring break or that wild night at Surf ‘n Bowl.

4.     Don’t post any critical information like your social security, bank or phone numbers. Don’t post mine either.

5.     Don’t post info that can help people locate you offline.  A post like “I nude sunbath in my yard everyday at 2:00” can’t end well.

6.     Don’t announce when you will be away from home. If you must post your vacation plans don’t add “And I leave my key under the mat.”

7.     Don’t use a screen name that could be suggestive.  “Hotnwet” may not get across that you work in a tea house.

8.     Don’t post photos you wouldn’t display in your home. See #3.

9.     Don’t assume that strangers are who they say they are.  (My dog has a page, but he usually doesn’t write it.)

10 . If you must meet people from online connections make sure that you only meet in public places.  Make sure others know where you are, or better yet, go with you. It may not be the person you think you're meeting that you encounter.

Um, my new profile picture...
Photo: luxist.com

Social media can create a public life, or make our lives too public.  It can bolster our self-image, or make others doubt theirs.  It can connect us to old friends, or expose us to unknown enemies. It can remind you of who you were, who you are and even let you try out who you might like to become.  The possibilities are endless. So have fun, but be sane and safe.  Because Facebook is forever!