Tipping Over

Wanted: 

Hard worker who is willing to take abuse from public and coworkers, move fast, multi-task, lift heavy objects, accept weekend and evening hours.  No benefits, and little or no opportunity for advancement. 

Really, would you be smiling?
Photo: Sodahead.com

Before you rush out the door to apply for this job, you should know that your hourly pay will not be enough to buy you a latte.

In America it’s perfectly legal to pay our 7.5 million food and beverage workers as little as $2.13 per hour, since tips are expected to bolster their income. Their actual average wage in the U.S. is $4.35 per hour, about half of minimum wage. The only difference between $2.13 and a living wage for some servers might your tips.  

She'll probably have to pay for that drink too.
Photo: Phoenixnewtimes.com

According to Keep the Change by Steve Dublanica, we spend $66 billion on tips annually, and table service is just the beginning. We are topping off the tab for everyone from sitters to clippers, from car washers to coat checkers from valets to tattoo artists. A quick Google search demonstrates that thousands of blogs, books and articles have been penned exploring tipping in various scenarios, seasons, times, cultures, and that there are a myriad of other mind-boggling nuances relating to the practice.  The resulting comments also reveal how adverse many Americans are to tipping, and how they feel taken advantage of in situations when they have been served poorly, especially in restaurants. Tips have become an expectation and an obligation, even for mediocre or meager service. But to all the people who stiff their server for being surly, I ask how $2.13 per hour might affect your mood or performance? 

Photo: Funnypictures.net

While tipping is traditionally related to service the newest revolution in tipping, and one that has happened in my adult lifetime, is the advent of the tip jar.  These elaborately drawn and prominently placed vessels are generally found on the last frontier of tipping:  counter tops at self-serve establishments. Though the word self-service begs an oxymoron, these jars have become the norm. The rules of tipping are less defined for countertops; I find that I am likely to tip more or less depending on the tip jar sign.  Here are some of the tip-inducing tactics I have seen around town:

From the look of this jar, kittens are in trouble.
Photo: Hotdogprofits.com

Tactic: Cajoling

Feeling tipsy?

-or-

Tips are appreciated.

These pleas are the simplest, most common approaches on tip jars. I tend to leave money in these containers, because I read this subtitle: “The reason I need tips is because I have no imagination and cannot get a better job.”

Tactic: Threatening

The more you tip the nicer we are.

Ok.  How insecure do you have to be to bend over for that one? Be strong, you don’t need another friend.

Tactic: Promising salvation

All good tippers go to heaven.

I can’t help but wonder if this means that bad tippers go to hell?  And what of those few brave (or foolish) souls who deign not to tip at all?  Did Dante describe a level of hell with tortures reserved for tightwads?

Tactic: Social commentary

We are trying to raise $700 billion for rich people.

I usually tip big when I see this sign, because I feel sorry for rich people and small tips probably won’t help them much. (Do Republicans think of tipping as socialism?  Are they permitted to skip tipping because of their abhorrence to sharing the wealth?)

New RNC fundraising effort?
Photo: superpunch.blogspot.com

Tactic: Comedy

We knead the dough

A bakery and pizzeria favorite--I acknowledge the point and forgive the pun.

Barista kidnapped by Ninja clan.  Raising money for Kung Fu lessons.

 I would do anything to help get my favorite Barista back.

Tipping.  Not just for Cows.

I feed this tip jar because I suspect that the writer is a fellow Midwesterner. Of course I could point out that tipped cows don’t do anything extraordinary either, except perhaps show the same propensity as counter help for sometimes standing around looking vacant.

Some things money can't buy.
Photo: Moneybagsfull.com

Then there's the direct approach...
Photo: Buzzfeed.com

Creative or not, I hope you feed the jars and tip the servers.  Especially if you are one of the lucky people protected by law to receive minimum pay wage for your hard work.  Really, shouldn't $2.13 per hour at least buy a little tolerance?