Fixed Up

I love Home Depot. It’s such a positive place. Even the name “depot” promises a journey. A place of promise, of empowerment, of endless opportunity. A way station on our journey of making a home.  Of home improvement.

How I feel when I start a project.
Photo: scavangeinc.com

Soon after.
Photo: epa.gov

Two thirds of homeowners say that they will undertake renovation projects of some type this year. In spite of the still sluggish economy, people plan to invest in their home, though they will reduce their  average spending from $6200 to $3400.  Many say they will make up the difference by doing some or all of the work themselves. *

Will be bludgeoning each other soon.
Photo: homeimprovementstip.com

 Over half of the re-dos will be inside, led by bathroom makeovers.  That means we will roll up our sleeves and try to tile, set toilets, paint, place cabinetry and screw in towel racks.  About a third will be outdoors, setting up solar systems, planting gardens and building decks.  Let’s face it.  Some of us will be more successful than others.

Start with small projects.
Photo: 204.115.34. 

Personally, I was born to live in a condo.  Without my husband’s unexpected skill in running electrical wire, fixing plumbing and grouting things I would be at the mercy of contractors.  Until the day he cut off his finger (ground it off actually) in a woodworking mishap I thought he could do just about any home improvement project. 

I, on the other hand, in spite of having all of my limbs and digits intact, have failed miserably at a long list of projects. As early as the 70s I was planting melons on hillsides (the ripening fruit rolling downhill into the neighbor’s dandelion patch,) trying to refinish crown molding while it was still up and fussing over holes in the second floor bathroom large enough to see people below while sitting on the pot.  I have rolled out sod that turned to weeds in a season,  and childproofed my drawers permanently shut. My husband likened my wallpapering efforts to an old I Love Lucy rerun.  Most recently I spackled and painted in the guest room, trailing dried bits of spackle and inkblot patterns of tan paint throughout the house. 

Tell me what you see in the paint blots.
Photo: Flickr.com

In spite of my many failures, I have endless enthusiasm for Home Depot and the unexplored lands of just-right lighting fixtures, mysterious plumbing parts, giant racks of raw wood and voltage meters that make me want to build homemade batteries.  I have developed some loose guidelines for navigating the store: 

Never hire an electrician with the nickname of "Sparky."
Photo: hccs.edu

1. Bring the biggest vehicle you own.  You may think you are shopping for lightbulbs, but you have to walk through shelving, paint, and bathroom cabinets to get there.  And trying to squeeze a pedestal sink into a Prius can be a rough start to your new project.

This doesn't seem like a good choice.
Photo: cnet.com

Neither does this.

   
  

Until you consider this.
Photo:homedepot.com

2. Prep is critical.  Measure stuff before you go, twice. Jot down sizes and colors.  Bring swatches. Leave someone at home with a tape measure and a cell phone.

Prep is very important.  Move items before painting.
Photo: Sodahead.com

3.  Go without kids.  My older daughter has a penchant for building and wearing robot heads in the sheet metal department, or installing intricate pvc pipe sculptures in the garden section.  My younger marches angrily through the store, pointing out problems with sustainability and the various manufacturers’ failures to meet basic environmental or energy standards.

Do we have to buy these now?
Photos: uws.edu.au/Businessinsider.com

4. Go with someone knowledgeable. My favorite trips are with my husband, who is genetically coded to understand and embrace artifacts like sprinkler heads, copper wire, and ceiling fans.  Going to Home Depot with Paul is like going to visit the Grand Canyon and being guided by a Paleo-Indian from 8,000 B. C. It is his native habitat.

Paul knows what all these things are.
Photo: carrborofire.org

5.  Finally, have the phone number of a contractor available.

The right contractor can be worth the extra cost.
Photo:ladyjaynesradingden.com

 As I stand in the spacious aisles at Home Depot, I breathe in the scent of paint (oh, I guess that explains my euphoria ) and like a mother who gave birth I forget my painful experiences, my messy projects, my plain old humiliating moments and plunge into a new project.  This one is bound to go well.

The store offers help with any project.
Photo: beebla.com

Home Depot has everything you need for a great weekend.
Photo: dr.heckel.com

*(American Express Spending and Saving Tracker.)