Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I'm Pumped

We had our septic tank pumped this morning.  “Best close your windows and doors” came the good advice of the Honey Bucket Man “this can be pretty powerful stuff.” An hour later 1200 pounds of, er, waste, was out of our septic tank and in his truck ready to go wherever it is that takes such loads.  “You folks are pretty healthy” he pronounced as he peeled off his gloves.  “Sometimes I see a foot of grease on top of all the poop.” I felt strangely relieved, in the same way that you are relieved when you wear your good underwear to the doctor’s office and then he unexpectedly asks you to take your pants off.  But I digress (and do you blame me?) Septic grease is the grossest thing I have thought about in a long time, and I wondered what it is that we are eating that could reformulate into a foot of grease?

Could be this fried cheese inside a grilled cheese sandwich...
Photo: Denny's

Or this double grilled cheese with a burger in the middle...
Photo: Friendly's

Or maybe this "buns are for sissies" offering from KFC.
Photo: KFC
I’m sure you’re not surprised that Americans eat a lot of junk food.  CBS reports that every single day one in four Americans eats fast food. Let’s see... (math in progress) that means every day almost 80 million people eat fast food! It adds up. According to The Secret Life of Food we each average:
                50 pounds of cookies and cakes
                100 pounds of refined sugar
                55 pounds of fat and oil
                300 containers of soda
                20 gallons of ice cream
                5 pounds of potato chips
                18 pounds of candy
                2 pounds of popcorn
                unknown quantity of pretzels and a wide variety of snack foods

This...

Is destined to become this. Yes, I showed it.
Photo:s Frisky.com/Indianapolisplumbers.com
“But wait,” you skeptics may say in that smug way of yours. “Just because we eat at a fast food restaurant does not mean we make those bad choices.”  But bad choices are easy to make at fast food places.  I mean, there are the obvious bad choices (last time I checked triple-creamy milkshakes were not on any diet plan,) but some pretty nasty foods can be laid on top of lettuce and passed off as a salad. For example, a Chipotle Steak Taco Salad will come in at 900 calories, 57g of fat, and 1,480 mg of sodium. It is actually worse than a McDonald’s Quarter Pounderä (730 calories, 40 grams of fat, 1330 milligrams of sodium.)
Not an actual salad (go ahead, look it up.)
Photo: Taco Bell

My septic guy was kind enough to describe the clues he saw in our tank, but not everything that goes into our body comes back out.  Fast food consumption has expanded by 500% since 1970, and our girths have expanded as well. NPR tells us that more than 33% of Americans are now obese, and by 2020 that number is expected to creep close to 50%.  The next generation of obese adults is ready to step in and take their place.  In a Pediatrics article (January 2007) Dr. D. Ludwig studied over 6000 kids, and noted that over 30% of them ate fast food each day, consuming nearly 200 extra calories per day and on track to gain an extra 6 pounds every year.
Potato is a vegetable, right?
Photo: digiguide.tv
Here’s a few things you can doo (sorry):  Choose small fries instead of large.  A hamburger instead of a big Mac. Mustard instead of special sauce.  How about getting your salad dressing on the side?  Lots of calories and fats sneak into fast food salads that way. In general, beware of adjectives on the menu like “fried, breaded, smothered, mega, crispy, glazed, slammed, dunked, layered, creamy, super, filling, platter, triple, sampler”, and the ubiquitous “enough to share,” which you should definitely share. Of course none of these works as well as driving past the king, or clown or bells that are beckoning you to overindulge.
Wearing his food choices.
Photo: blissreturned.wordpress.com
My septic guy claims he can actually gauge life expectancy from poop--sort of like tea leaves, but with a scientific foundation.  The grease he sees in the tank foretells the relative likelihood of high cholesterol, diabetes, high blood pressure and ultimately, an early death.  Fast food restaurants insist that the state of our septic tank is not their concern, and frankly I agree.  It's up to us.
Please listen to this lady.

Maybe not so much. (Love her recipe for deep fried mac and cheese though!)












Note:  If you prefer to gross yourself out and away from fast food (and there are lots of opportunities to do that) you may find this blog informative and entertaining:

http://blissreturned.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/tales-from-the-fast-food-kitchen-what-the-h-is-that-made-of/
  
alternatively read a good book on the fast food industry like Fast Food Nation, or Supersize Me.

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