Pet Peeves:November

I had such a charmed Thanksgiving week that it was hard to come up with things to complain about this month.  But then Black Friday dawned, and I was suddenly inspired. This month’s pet peeves are dedicated to the November crowds and parties leading up to the holiday. 


It probably won’t surprise you that we start at the mall:

Heading right for me.
Photo: lenedgerly.com

Children who bump you.

My children are not especially well mannered, but it seems that I have at least instilled in them the ability to mutter a nearly recognizable “scuse me” if they crash into other shoppers, strollers or standers-by.  Walking through the mall the other day I was assaulted by several apparent orphans hurling through the promenade at a high velocity, leaving only a series of bruises to mark their passage.  Can’t get by?  Push.  Having trouble? Push harder. 


And then there are the endless social opportunities:

janeaustensworld.wordpress.com

People in groups who don’t turn to welcome you.

OK.  I get it.  You don’t know me and you don’t care to.  Maybe your social calendar is already full, or you are engaged in negotiating an arms deal and cannot be disrupted.  Most likely you never read the particular installment of Miss Manners that instructs us to open our conversational circle and welcome people who approach us at parties. 

Hosts who don’t help groups to welcome you. 

Ideally, a host should greet his or her guest, and then walk them over to a group of lovely, like-minded attendees where an introduction and a launching point for further conversation is provided.  (This group of lovely, like-minded attendees will, of course, open their conversational circle to embrace the newcomer.) “Joe and Margie meet Jane.  Jane is also a nuclear physicist working on the transmutation reactions associated with mass-energy release, and I think you may know some of the same people.”  But this failproof method of mixing is slowly becoming outmoded, and has been replaced by the somewhat less gracious “Yo, Jane.  You made it. Grab a cold one.”

People who sneeze into their hands and then welcome you with a handshake.

Yuck. The only thing grosser is how often this happens, and how oblivious the sneezers are.

People who sneeze on you.

OK, that is grosser.

Shaking hands after someone emerges from the bathroom.

I’m never sure whether to be grateful when their hands are damp.  Or not.

Getting ready for company can be stressful too:

Sometimes it's hard to wait
Photo: Superstock.com

People who have huge carts full of food who won’t let you go in front of them in grocery stores when you have one item.

This generally only happens on the days when you are late to pick up your child.  It is more likely to happen if it is raining or dark outside and your child has to wait alone.  It definitely will happen if you must urgently have the one item you are in line for, and have no option but to wait.  You clear your throat gently, and hold the lone item prominently in front of you, but the person ahead of you is from Pluto, or Los Angeles, and does not understand and/or care.

And then there are the events:

People who hold a spot in line.  For many other people.

Ah, your family laughed at you when you arrived two hours early for the dance recital/extravaganza.  But you found yourself only 7^th in line, and enjoyed the triumph of knowing that you would have a seat in front, in prime photo territory (instead of behind the camcorder and camera wielders recording their children’s debut right in your line of sight.)  But your family gets the last laugh when each of the 7 people ahead of you turns out to be holding a spot for 27 of their closest relatives. 

People who hold seats.  Lots of seats.

Stride past those perfectly acceptable seats towards the back of the theatre, because there seem to be plenty of space up ahead.  Turn around when you see that the entire middle of the theater is being “held” with draped raincoats.  Too late...the back of the theater is full.

And finally, the everyday disasters (which are not necessarily related to the holidays, but are just as irritating in November as any other time!)


Kids who cross the street without looking.

I know if I hit one of these teens I will be the party in the wrong, the pariah, the irresponsible, rash and reckless driver who hit an innocent child with her car.  I have never heard of someone whispering behind their hand “she was just driving along slowly when a callous, self-important teen ran out and forced her to hit him.”

Ow.
Photo:GoodTimes.Webshots.com

Women with umbrellas in crowds.

Careful, you’ll poke someone’s eye out!

Do these little indignities tend to intensify during the holidays, or are we more sensitive during the rising rhythms of the season? As always, the list is open!