I find myself in the afterglow of an unexpectedly fun vacation when we joined with our family living across the state to share a rented house in the middle. “Fun,” “family,” and “share” all in the same sentence? I think it was “middle” that made it all possible. The right time, place and pace made “middle” a happy destination this Thanksgiving.
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| Turkey I didn't cook on a table I didn't set Photo: Wikivisual.com |
It was Thanksgiving, a vacation time sanctioned by the calendar. Getting together around holidays makes sense, not only because they are traditional family times, but because nobody else is working (and getting ahead) while we play. According to a 2009 study by Harris Interactive for Expedia, 34% of Americans don’t use their vacation days even though 1 in 4 working adults have trouble coping with work related stress. We get an average of 13 days per year, but due to guilt and performance pressure we leave as many as 6 of our 13 days untaken! Compare this to France’s average of 38 days, with 2 days untaken (no wonder they have time for love.) Given our hesitation to take the time we’ve earned, the holidays are a great way to force some fun on us.
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| Rare photo of husband and brother not working. |
The place.
Don’t get me wrong. I love having family visit us here at our home. But here, the joy of family comes with the job of “company.” Yes, it is a labor of love, but it is labor nonetheless. It seemed natural at our mid-state rental that everyone pitched in, and that nobody bore responsibility for the comfort and happiness of others. Guess what? Everyone was comfortable and happy anyway!
The pace.
More than a third of us work more than 40 hours a week.* After work we tend to our families, our homes and our hobbies. It is not surprising then, that we lose touch even with those we hold most dear. Vacationing together helps us find each other again. For example, I learned last week that my brother and I are more alike than I knew. It turns out we both believe in an intricate and intrinsically ordered universe AND we both hate to empty the dishwasher. Who knew?
There are practical considerations to a vacation: how much to spend, where to go, when to go, what to do when you get there. But here are some ideas about our family vacations that are more about outlook that pocketbook:
Make your needs known.
For example, I wish I had stated my desire for more hiking. My sister-in-law was surprised when I mentioned it. She would have enjoyed it too. Don’t assume that your ideas are less important than those of others. And don’t expect others to know what you need unless you communicate it.
Make activities optional.
It was fun to split up into different groups at different times. I think more people did more things because less pressure meant more fun.
Be open to spontaneous happenings.
Don’t just point at that funky roadside attraction. Stop! Sometimes it is not the big monuments and but the small moments that make a trip, and our lives. Spend more time with your family and less time with the 42 million holiday drivers on the road.**
About 33% of Americans who vacation feel better about work when they return.* Really? 66% of people do not feel better? Maybe they are taking the wrong type of trip. 100% of our family felt better about the time we spent getting to know each other in a whole different way. The right time, place and pace made “middle” a great destination this Thanksgiving. And maybe next.
*Harris Interactive (2009)
** AAA (2010)
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